Filed under: Life....I wonder..., Uncategorized | Tags: black women, interracial dating, Media Manipulation, self-hatred, self-love
Dang yall, I tried to lay off the blogging until June….but when it hits me, I have to go with it. Today while cruising the internet, while I’m supposed to be cleaning, I ran across a link on Bossip.com entitled “The Evil Eye: Why Black Women Will Never Accept Black Men Dating White Women”. Upon clicking said link I was taken to Livesteez.com to read the article in it’s entirety and I must say I was not impressed. I am so tired of everyone talking about what a black woman will, won’t, should or shouldn’t accept. First of all who the hell wrote this article, and have they spoken to every black woman in the world? I think not. Note to all of yous who write trash articles like this “YOU DONT SPEAK FOR ME!!!!!!!” With that being said I will tell you why THIS black woman accepts interracial dating.
I will admittedly say that there was a point in my life, roughly the ages of 16-21 when seeing a black man with a white woman would indeed move me to give them an evil eye. My animousity toward these pairings did not come from the sheer sight of this black man and white woman together but from the connotation I found in thier paring. If yall have read some of my previous posts, and if you see how I use the word yall like it’s proper, than you already know I was raised in the south. The south messed me up royally concerning interracial dating. I was told to my face before I was even old enough to begin menustrating that I was ugly because I was black. I was told that light skin was prettier than mine, thinner noses were prettier than mine, and silky butt length hair was prettier than mine. It was drilled into my mind at an early age that I was not good enough. For years I tried to become the standard of beauty waving high above my head like a confederate flag. I wore make-up suited for lighter complexions, I convinced myself that since my grandfather was half-cherokee I could mark ‘other’ for my ethnicity when I took tests, I hung out with mostly white girls whom I envied with a vengeance, even all of my crushes were white. I suffered from a peverse self-hatred. I hated my face, my skin, my features so much that anyone who resembled me more than my european counterparts was, in my mind, unappealing . I simply did not find black men attractive and was about 200% sure that one day I would be happily married to a man who closely resembled Mark Wahlberg. I had an awakening during high school which caused me to question why I hated black people, especially when I was black. I studied the history of my people, then came the rage.
During that period in my life I hated seeing a black man with a white woman because I was damn sure that he felt the way about me that I had once felt about him and it burned me up. It burned me up that it seemed to be only the young black men in my classes dogging the women of thier race. Puerto rican boys lusted after the puerto rican girls, white boys lusted after white girls, asian boys lusted after asian girls, but it was the only the black boys who I would hear didn’t date girls darker than them, or just didn’t date black girls. I never heard a hispanic man say ” Oh I don’t date hispanic women” the same for asian and white men. It burned me up that I knew what it was to be trash, to be the bottom of the barrell, to be unwanted and that women like me had been thought of as such in this country for hundreds of years. First came the rage, then came the depression.
My healing came though, and it came from the understanding that I was indeed BEAUTIFUL. I was beautiful not because anybody told me but because I was a creation of GOD. I found the beauty in the thickness and lushness of my features. I found beauty in the kink of my hair, the different styles I could pull off like no one else. I found the beauty in the deep rich tone of my skin, hell I like to tan because it makes my skin tone deeper! I reveled in my uniqueness, what the world calls my ugliness. Black women have been revered for thier beauty and strength for thousands of years. Read about us before we came to this country. Read about our queens, our heroines, the nubian and kush women of ancient lore, read about us, we are there. This black woman will accept interaccial dating because it has been going for millions of years and it will continue to go on. This black woman will accept interracial dating because a man’s preferences don’t have shit to do with me or my self worth. This black woman will accept interracial dating because I get play from the red, yellow, brown, black and white HELLO!!! This black woman will accept interracial dating because I know the difference between a man who has truly found something special WITHIN a woman and a man who specifies the exterior of his woman because he is battling a demon within himself. Bottom line: this black woman does not need the affections or attention of a black man, or any man for that matter, to validate my beauty and value. I know I got it going on and there isn’t a darn thing you can say, no statistics you can show, no article you can write that will make me believe anything different. I hope all my sisters out there know that it’s not us, it’s them. If they want to hate, let em hate, if they say they don’t want you, let em pass you by, because you are gorgeous and worthy of nothing less than the king who was created for you. HOLLA
Filed under: Dopeness, Life....I wonder... | Tags: dear mama, love mom, mother's day
We’ve come a long way baby. I know we used to fuss and argue,you even had to kick me out a time or two, and there were times that I disrespected you and worked your last nerve. But you’re the greatest lady I know and I know that no one loves me or cares for me more than you. Know that everything I am is because of you and your sacrafices have allowed me to reach for the stars and know that I can catch them. I will pay you back someway, somehow, I Love you MOM!!!!
The mother of all mother tributes
Filed under: Cool ppl | Tags: Al N York, Dopeness, Hip Hop, Homeless Millionaire Mixtape, New Talent
Aight. So in case you haven’t noticed, I’m a journalist. Albeit, an undiscovered and unpaid one, but a true journalist nonetheless. It’s what I went to school for and I love what I do.In an attempt to satisfy my magazine columnist fantasies, I have decided to add a new feature to this blog, ” Kickin it With”, now the title should be self explanatory. From time to time, I’m gonna kick it with the extremely creative and talented individuals I happen to bump shoulders with.
My first session belongs to Al. N York. I met this gentlemen when I got a friend request on MySpace with the message ” I see you got good taste in music. if i’m wack don’t add me period, this is HIP HOP, where skills matter…” Hmmm. So, I check his page, listen to what he got for about two minutes, go back, and add him. In the snippets of the songs I heard, I heard nice beats and a nice flow. As I listened more, and eventually downloaded his latest mixtape Homeless Millionaire, I was pleasantly surprised by what I heard. It seems like these days everybody, thier cousin, and thier man down the street can rap, but I heard somebody who actually had the skills they claimed mattered so much. The kid was nice. My substance radar started going off something crazy, I don’t know what it is but I always seemed to be up on stuff right before it blew up, and this I believe, is no exception. So for you’re reading pleasure my convo with Al N. York
TAE: So first things first, for all those who don’t know about Al N York, why don’t you tell me a little bit of your background, when did you realize you wanted to be a mc and how long have u been putting in work?
AL N YORK : I started writing around the age of 11. I was writing lyrics before i was listening to hip hop due to strict house rules. Started my ghetto recordings at 14 passing out mixtapes at school since around 15, 16
TAE : Alright a true hustler, that’s wassup, strict house rules huh? Do you come from a very religious background?
AL N YORK : My mom is christian thru and thru, there was no ‘cecular’ music in my house. Cable was off and on, and if it was on, lord forbid I was watching those raunchy videos with my mom around. I knew some hip hop acts, and enjoyed what I could, but I didnt have an constant hip hop outlet when I first started as a MC, I was my own outlet
TAE : Wow, I feel ya tho, I kinda went thru the same thing as a child, I couldn’t even watch nickelodeon sometimes..lol…I find that interesting though you started writing at 11, were the verses coming out as rhymes(2 be put 2 music) or were you writing stuff more like poetry?
AL N YORK : No they was raps lol I wrote words for rhyming purposes and found it challenging and fun, I didnt really look at it as an outlet until I was around 12-13.. you know the regular hardships you go thru as a teen.
TAE : Right, right, now when you started recording at 14 was it straight guerilla style or did you have connections with a studio of some sort?
AL N YORK : gorilla.. 10 dollar mic. windows recording program, it used to stop after a minute, so all my songs had a cut after 1 minute and it resumed lol.. I didnt upgrade equipment until around 16 or 17, but still had a sucky mic
TAE : but you gotta do what you can do at the time right, sucky mic and all..lol..how did your peers recieve the mixtapes, did you gain a following around the school?
AL N YORK : its funny you mention that
TAE : why so?
AL N YORK : can i send you a song.
AL N YORK : After that song, you can ask clarification, i just recorded it yesterday
AL N YORK : day before yesterday
TAE : Is this gonna be on the Fools Gold Mixtape, i don’t really care for radio too much either, lol
AL N YORK : lol yes it will be
TAE : cool, so i’m listening to the song and you talk about loosing some fans due to being true to yourself concerning the content of your lyrics, how’d did that make you feel and how does that affect you now with the content you create?
TAE: tite song by the way
AL N YORK : well its everything.(thanks)
AL N YORK : i gotta big buzz by just freestyling, i was known as the rappin guy.. you know then its gets to a point where it graduates from that to recording, and as a 15 year old i was talkin about my surroundings
AL N YORK : family issues, school, whatever… but the people i hung out w/ was more like ‘gotta rap like this and that’ and for a sec i conformed, it got me a buzz because i was good at speakin about those topics of foolishness, but i knew if i wanted to be taken seriously in the long run, i needed to rap about what was on my mind, not what others wanted to hear
TAE : right and you were feeling that pressure to be something that you weren’t?
AL N YORK : Pressure, to a point. I just loved the craft so much, if people said i needed to rap about xyz to prove i can rap.. i would do it, that phase didnt last too long though.
TAE : i’m glad you touched on this because i wanted to get into the state of hip hop right now, i know it’s a question that has been asked many many times recently, but how do you feel about the glamourization of hip hop music, rented mansions, fake personas etc, the prevalence of ignorance over substance, i saw your anti-stanky leg movement message..lol
TAE : what is your assessment as a mc and as a fan?
AL N YORK : lol i think its always been like that to an extent.. i think around.. 96-97 when diddy started gettin the big money, we, as a culture (hip hop, not race) wasnt used to gettin that type of money in a business sense.. so it went from people braggin about it who actually had it, then others who are just trying to keep up for image sake. the only difference now is, theres more outlets to expose the fake.. information is easily accesed
AL N YORK : I think an mc is someone who raps, for the right motives
AL N YORK : alot of people like to pigeon hole ‘talib, common.. mos def’ as mc’s, but will discredit ‘jeezy, 50 cent, and nelly’.. which i think is unfair, i think we shouldnt let topic decide whos an mc.
AL N YORK : To me it’s more so who takes the time to polish thier craft and wants to be the best at it, and not taking advantage of hip hop for financial gain.
TAE : right right, i agree with you to an extent, i do think that content matters and there’s some stuff i just can’t connect with, i feel nowadays there’s a lot of braggin goin on that i could care less about, like times is hard i don’t wanna hear bout how you can just throw away 50 stacks or how you just bought some 1200 dollar shoes, but that’s me tho
AL N YORK : of course, i think each subject matter touches a diffferent audience, as long as a rapper stays in his lane, i think its tolerable, you dont need to listen to it. as an MC i respect people who do the craft and do it well, even thou i might not like there music
AL N YORK : as much as i would love for all black men to be intelligent and proper ect.. we gotta acknowledge the ones who(for whatever reason) are not, and they need a spokes person too, im ok as long as i stay tru to myself.
AL N YORK: we(as hip hop) gotta acknowledge the kids who are stugglin and really do move weight and are in those extreme situations.
TAE : That’s wassup… i must say one of the things that i like about you’re homeless millionaire mixtape was that i could really connect to what you were talking about, i heard you say in one of your blogs that there would be less bravado on this mixtape than heads were used to hearing from you, what prompted you to open up more on this mixtape
AL N YORK : correct, i mean i think thats somethin that a and r’s and mainstream people fail to realize. like i said in ‘rnr’ as far as the average joe, theres more of them then dope boys. or super rich people, those subjects only cater to the minority.. the majority is people like me, working, trying to achieve the american dream
TAE : i agree, i feel that the majority is being widely underserved in mainstream music right now.
TAE : the first time i heard you spit, i don’t know why, but the first name that popped into my head was Nas, you definitely have your own style, but who are some artists who influence you creatively
AL N YORK : um, creatively is a good way to pin point it cause i dont have a ‘favorite rapper’ but some mcs are. Joe budden. Nas. 50(a very poilished song writer). Little brother definitely… so many people
AL N YORK : Kanye’s, lupe.. listenin to jay-z just always makes me wanna rap lol
TAE : ok i gotta ask, cuz they my hometown favorites, who put you on to little brother?
AL N YORK : um. I put myself on. Seen on a hiphop website some fans was givn there music rave reviews, heard a dope record.. and i d/l the minstrel show(and phonte knows. via twitter)
AL N YORK : Since then ive gone back and done homework on the listening, chitlin circut, bought get back the first day it came out. seen them in concert. I can honestley say ‘The minstrel Show’ album changed my life as a mc.
TAE : yes, the mistrel show is wassup, as was the mixtape with drama, and getback, what was it about the minstrel show that changed you?
AL N YORK : well. It kinda let me know, i was making the right kind of music. there are peple who really need this kind of music. The way that album was put together. The beats, 9th production.. the whole 9 i felt was justification that real music will always be made. It just takes brave people to make them
TAE : there was a verse in say what’s real that touched on the Chris and Rhianna fiasco and you said you couldn’t chastise because you’d been in his position but you wasn’t in a lam and she wasn’t worth millions, i thought this was powerful becaue i felt the media turned that into a circus, everybody comin out the woodwork condemning Chris and coddling Rhianna when truth is this type of thing happens everyday in the hood, would you be willing to talk a lil more about your situation and what were you’re thoughts on the medias handling of chris brown?
AL N YORK : well my situation didnt get as far as that. As guys, especially when your dealin with young chicks. emotions and lord for bid shes from the hood(or the islands.. or dominicans) tempers flair all the time. my hands were never put on a women, but there havebeen incidents where ive thought ‘this chick could really wild out on me right now’ and we all have our little relational issues, so my rhyme was more of tryin bring a realization to the situation like ‘im pretty sure you know a couple girls who beat up on there men’ some tempers react differently.. its life
TAE : exactly…. shifting gears, you’re a college boy, where do you attend and what’s your course of study?
AL N YORK : Valencia community college(top 3 community college in the nation.. woot woot). Im persuing, well after my summer course i will have an AA in Interpersonal Communications. I plan on taking a semester off to see where i would [like to] to further my education in the spring.
TAE : whaat, alright Valencia…..you speak about growing up in the Clinton projects, was there any particular incident that made you decide you wanted to pursue higher education or was there anyone in your life who really pushed you to pursue a degree?
AL N YORK : My mom is a Harlem chick thru and thru. She decided to get me out of that situation early and move here to florida. We moved here around 1995, but she always wanted me to keep my harlem culture so i pretty much spent school seasons here.. and we went back for christmas.. and summers so i had a split upbrining, and ive always wanted to go to college, honestly because i was into watching college sports. then the installment, that education is the only way(from my mom) it wasnt even an option to me.
TAE : alright so mama didn’t raise no fool, did she raise you on her own?
AL N YORK : lol yes she did
TAE : that’s wassup my mother as well, as a young man how does that affect your drive to succeed. Is she supportive of your music?
AL N YORK : well, My mother is still moms lol she isnt into that cecular music. Even thou my lyrics arnt any thing that would warrant a moms rejection, im kinda quiet about it. she knows i do it but, its not something we communicate.. she’ll know im serious about it when i get that condo for her lol
TAE : i know that’s right, i’m sure you’ll do her proud…now you talk about having haters around the city, do you get a lotta love from you’re city as well? I’ve seen you’ve done some pretty high profile performances
AL N YORK : well. my city is interesting. me and my boy Turb was talkin about this.
AL N YORK : theres a division and competition.
AL N YORK : a division from the underground MCs.. who love hip hop. and Theres the people who are boarderline famous. outr high profile faces of orlandos are producers and djs, and alot of undergroud heads feel those djs aren’t supporting locals, and alot of us move to get noticed, so from the underground audience i feel respected.. as far as the other side is concerned i honestly dont think im on thier radar
TAE : have you ever had anybody step to you on some physical ish?
AL N YORK : noo.. honestly its unspoken, cause the semi famous producers/djs dont pay us any attention, and the artist they support from here are usually there homeboys, or knock offs of another rapper from another city
AL N YORK : that, plus the radio station here is horrible.. lol
TAE :what i figured florida radio would be bumpin, but then again….would you say that’s the hardest part about breaking into the game, the lack of support from those who’ve almost “made it”…..
AL N YORK well there are people now that are doin alot from the city. i think the hardest part IS gettin local support
AL N YORK : theres 1 dj.. dj strong who whenever I listen to his radio show he’s puttin new cats on.. other than late night shows.. or little 1-2 minute snippets.. as far as regular rotation is concerned. No orlando artist gets radio spins on a regular basis.. none
AL N YORK : you know how people from other city comes into town, and they listen to the radio to see whos hot in the city.. everyone who comes down here gets atl music. texas music, miami music… not orlando music, thats why no1 has been checkin for us.
TAE : yeah, little bro talks a lot about that, you figure your city would be intrumental in puttin you on. How has the reception been for the homeless millionaire and so far wrong mixtapes?
AL N YORK : so far wrong is reall low key havnt really been promoting that, the response from Homeless millionaire has been very good. better then i expected, alot of people gravitate to it for its content. and the only issue people have is some of the quality.. i figure, if the worse ting you can say about my music is the studio quality. I must be, winning, cause that I can fix. but beinng a bad mc.. not so easy to fix.
TAE : yes, i agree, i was pleasantly surprised with homeless millionaire, it was a surprisingly smooth ride, no kinks, i can listen to it all the way through and your ear for beats is impeccable, nice production
AL N YORK : thank you.
AL N YORK : ive seen too many mcs waste thier great talent on horrible production
TAE : yea i’m the type where production is everything, the first thing that draws me in is the musical composition some stuff just hurts the ears..lol…So what can we expect from the Fools Gold mixtape and when is it droppin?
AL N YORK : I gotta call from this indy im workin with. they want it out by the end of the month. You can expect me, you’ll get another installment of ‘all of me’ about a different x-girl, theres a story or two in there. Alot of real music. I figure, money and hoes get old.. but reality you cant escape.. so i’ll keep it real as usual.
TAE : So I did my research, what is it about Sgt Alvin. C York that made you take on his name. He led a unique and remarkable life to say the least but what did you admire most about him? What do you feel you have in common with him?
AL N YORK : I’ll be the first to admit I am in the process of doin more research.. I had been playing with the name al. n (insert name)
AL N YORK : So like al.n credible a.ln whatever .. one day in class in 11g rade we where speakin about him, and i figured it be a better repersentation to take on a name of someone who assisted our country as opposed to gangsters and criminals being uplifted all the time
TAE : yes yes, allright so our time is drawing to a close, you’ve been great. One last question, what is the one thing you would want the world to remember you by after you’re gone?
TAE: or remember about you
AL N YORK : um
AL N YORK : Tru to one self. Tru to people around him. Inspired truth out of other people
TAE : Beautiful
Off his 2007 mixtape, Streets is Callin Vol 3
Off his 2009 mixtape, So Far Wrong
download homeless millionaire/so far wrong @alnyork.blogspot.com
check him out @ www.myspace.com/alnyork
Can’t you just hear the OOOH OOOH!!!! The international hypeness signifyer screaming “It’s Saturday fool, what u gettin into?” Tell em Luda……
Filed under: Cool ppl, Jamz | Tags: coolness, i heart, lionhearted, music videos, teedra moses
Lionhearted. That’s the name of Teedra Moses’s new mixtape and it’s a fitting description. She is truly a beast, with immense vocal talent, stunning looks and a musical style that is both beautiful and viscious. She can broken-heartedly plead for a man to take her back to the day when he stole her heart and in the next breath command that he gets that bitch he got on the side told, and she better never, never ever hear bout it again. Yes, yes Ms. Moses is my girl.
I first came into contact with her music by falling in love with “Be Your Girl”, from there, through the magnificence of limewire, I stumbled onto the jewel “You Better Tell Her”. Me and the roomates played that one out and I’ve been sold ever since. Ms. Moses is a threat, not just because she’s one of my favorite vocalists, but because girl got talent and lyrics for days. I believe she transmutes the feminine experience to music in a way that no one has since Mary hipped us to her life and Lauryn gave us a little re-education, she does not have to toot that thang up to get her point across. I’m waiting for the day when she has these lackluster females populating the industry running back to the lab to get they weight up. Go head girl………..
Wonderful interview by the homie over at forthelatestonline.com
rocks the stage like a true diva…
this is on my myspace right now….
Filed under: Cool ppl | Tags: coolness, Ghostface Killah, ghostface music, music videos
She’s the kind of person everybody knows, she reeks distinction from head to toe…..that’s me baby, I swear this is my theme song when I’m cruisin 4 qt’s
Jaames Brooown, Jaames Brooown……..this junk is timelessly hype