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The Enlightened Mind: Why This Black Woman Accepts Interaccial Dating…..

Dang yall, I tried to lay off the blogging until June….but when it hits me, I have to go with it. Today while cruising the internet, while I’m supposed to be cleaning, I ran across a link on Bossip.com entitled “The Evil Eye: Why Black Women Will Never Accept Black Men Dating White Women”. Upon clicking said link I was taken to Livesteez.com to read the article in it’s entirety and I must say I was not impressed. I am so tired of everyone talking about what a black woman will, won’t, should or shouldn’t accept. First of all who the hell wrote this article, and have they spoken to every black woman in the world? I think not. Note to all of yous who write trash articles like this “YOU DONT SPEAK FOR ME!!!!!!!”  With that being said I will tell you why THIS black woman accepts interracial dating.

I will admittedly say that there was a point in my life, roughly the ages of 16-21 when seeing a black man with a white woman would indeed move me to give them an evil eye. My animousity toward these pairings did not come from the sheer sight of this black man and white woman together but from the connotation I found in thier paring. If yall have read some of my previous posts, and if you see how I use the word yall like it’s proper, than you already know I was raised in the south. The south messed me up royally concerning interracial dating. I was told to my face before I was even old enough to begin menustrating that I was ugly because I was black. I was told that light skin was prettier than mine, thinner noses were prettier than mine, and silky butt length hair was prettier than mine. It was drilled into my mind at an early age that I was not good enough. For years I tried to become the standard of beauty waving high above my head like a confederate flag. I wore make-up suited for lighter complexions, I convinced myself that since my grandfather was half-cherokee I could mark  ‘other’ for my ethnicity when I took tests, I hung out with mostly white girls whom I envied with a vengeance, even all of my crushes were white. I suffered from a peverse self-hatred. I hated my face, my skin, my features so much that anyone who resembled me more than my european counterparts was, in my mind, unappealing . I simply did not find black men attractive and was about 200% sure that one day I would be happily married to a man who closely resembled Mark Wahlberg. I had an awakening during high school which caused me to question why I hated black people, especially when I was black. I studied the history of my people, then came the rage.

During that period in my life I hated seeing a black man with a white woman because I was damn sure that he felt the way about me that I had once felt about him and it burned me up. It burned me up that it seemed to be only the young black men in my classes dogging the women of thier race. Puerto rican boys lusted after the puerto rican girls, white boys lusted after white girls, asian boys lusted after asian girls, but it was the only the black boys who I would hear didn’t date girls darker than them, or just didn’t date black girls. I never heard a hispanic man say ” Oh I don’t date hispanic women” the same for asian and white men. It burned me up that I knew what it was to be trash, to be the bottom of the barrell, to be unwanted and that women like me had been thought of as such in this country for hundreds of years. First came the rage, then came the depression.

My healing came though, and it came from the understanding that I was indeed BEAUTIFUL. I was beautiful not because anybody told me but because I was a creation of GOD. I found the beauty in the thickness and lushness of my features. I found beauty in the kink of my hair, the different styles I could pull off like no one else. I found the beauty in the deep rich tone of my skin, hell I like to tan because it makes my skin tone deeper! I reveled in my uniqueness, what the world calls my ugliness. Black women have been revered for thier beauty and strength for thousands of years. Read about us before we came to this country. Read about our queens, our heroines, the nubian and kush women of ancient lore, read about us, we are there. This black woman will accept interaccial dating because it has been going for millions of years and it will continue to go on. This black woman will accept interracial dating because a man’s preferences don’t have shit to do with me or my self worth. This black woman will accept interracial dating because I get play from the red, yellow, brown, black and white HELLO!!! This black woman will accept interracial dating because I know the difference between a man who has truly found something special WITHIN a woman and a man who specifies the exterior of his woman because he is battling a demon within himself. Bottom line: this black woman does not need the affections or attention of a black man, or any man for that matter, to validate my beauty and value. I know I got it going on and there isn’t a darn thing you can say, no statistics you can show, no article you can write that will make me believe anything different. I hope all my sisters out there know that it’s not us, it’s them. If they want to hate, let em hate, if they say they don’t want you, let em pass you by, because you are gorgeous and worthy of nothing less than the king who was created for you. HOLLA

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9 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Preach! Finally somebody has written the words many of us think about this subject.

Comment by Maya

thank you so much mama!!!! I just had to say something because I am sick of the way they portray us, it’s like a subliminal message screaming “sucks to be you”, I vote no

Comment by taeh

Nice, really, As a black guy I got to say thanks. I never really cared honestly about the race of the girl I dated. I’ve dated girls of every race. I just dated girls I liked. Now that I am engaged to a white European I actually stopped to think and then realized I love her more than anything and damn anyone’s opinions.

Comment by eddix

thank you brotha, congratulations on your engagement

Comment by taeh

Wow, this is everything I have been feeling. It does feel like black women are at the bottom of the barrel, and worse, that black men feel that way too. I feel that we have stood by black men while they destroyed our communities selling drugs and with the violence, thru the 90’s when everyone thought they were a “menace to society”. When did black men become such a premium to other women. As a black woman, I always knew it, but it seems now that other women want them, they will trample over a black woman to get to any other race but her.

Comment by agomez

I hope it is okay with the blog owner if I post this:
If you’re a black woman interested in dating interracially, there is a blog that will be helpful for you called “For The Sistas.” It also has posts on dating for black Christian women. Some of the posts are a bit long, but they aren’t any longer than the cover story of a magazine article and I really do think they’ll be useful to you. The blog address is ForTheSistas (dot) blogspot (dot) com. By the way, the blog also has information on dating men from Europe.

Black women need to get off this black-man-only band wagon because, for too many, it obviously is not working. I’m not saying don’t date black men, just expand your options. Please forward this to other black women you know.

Comment by GT

To piggyback off of GT…There are also a plethora of links on my site for Black women who defy the “norms”…Please feel free to visit anytime 🙂

Comment by C W

Really nice posts. I will be checking back here regularly.

Comment by Kelli Garner

thanx, glad you like what you’re reading..

Comment by taeh




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