Say What?
August 12, 2009, 1:49 pm
Filed under: Life....I wonder..., Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , ,


Ahhhh, sex and love, we all think about it, we all fantasize about it, we all pursue it, some to the detriment of thier sanity. I’ve been on a no dating streak for a while now, and I don’t think it’s going to break anytime soon. Many would tell a lady in my predicament that my standards are impossibly high, but I maintain the standards of courtship have gotten incredibly low. Fellas must you always kick off your game with the lackluster ice breakers, ” Where yo man at?” or ” You got a man?”. Noooooooo,  but I don’t have one for a reason, and what makes you think that you have the qualities that I’m looking for in “my man”? Thanks, have a nice day. If I do ease up and continue conversation for the sake of not being a spoil sport, must you then make me regret my decision by commenting on my physique like I’m standing on an auction block? Yes I know that men are visual creatures, blah blah bleh, but does your instinctual animal attraction to the female form incapacitate you to the point where intelligent, creative, and engaging conversation is obsolete? 

Prime example, I’m walking through my hood one day trying to exercise and dude rolls up next to me. He asks if I need a ride and I politiely decline, telling him I’m trying to get my cardio on. Dude then proceeds to tell me, ” Oh, I got something that will work you out.”  His intent gaze on my butt canceled the idea he was talking about letting me use his boflex sometime. He was cute, but not cute enough to get away with that one.  Flip it, what if I came up to you and said ” Hey boy, where yo girl at? Oh you don’t have one, I can’t believe that. I mean that bulge is looking nice in those jeans, so why don’t you let me get your number or something, maybe we can chill sometime.” What would you think of me? What words would come to mind? Where would you file my memory in your internal rolodex? Under slut, jump off, possible side piece? I don’t mean to be sexist but I believe most men would definitely get the picture that the lady parts would be on easy access, and they’d like it.

It’s not about being stingy with the lovin’ or being a prude, it’s about being subtle, creating tension, leaving something to be desired. That’s the thrill of the game.  At least for me anyway. What happened to the smooth criminal?  The one you didn’t even realize was seducing you out of your panties utill they hit the floor. That one who could speak  five seemingly normal words of salutation  and through eye contact alone have you like, okay we need to rap for a minute. Boys, a little subtlety can get you a long way.


The Enlightened Mind Pt 2: 1 time for the single ladies……

A couple weeks ago, I wrote a post in response to an article about black women and interracial dating. Basically I was tired of hearing about how high numbers of black women are unmarried or unhappily single. They claim that we are suffering because of a dire shortage of good black men; due to homosexuality, interracial dating ,jail and our unwillingness to expand our options outside of our own ethnic group. I threw up my middle finger to that whole concept, as I was highly pissed about the media at large trying to play us like some simps. The circumstances surrounding the death of Steve McNair has helped me to reach a conclusion that I can’t believe I didn’t come to sooner. McNair’s death was tragic, as is any situation when a life is taken for reasons less than natural but I believe this is the type of tragedy that screams for us to look deeper than the obvious troubles on the surface. If there is a lesson to be learned by his death, it is this; people do not know how to conduct themselves properly in relationships, in short, people have just about lost their damn minds.

Statistically, black women are lacking where romantic relationships are concerned, true , but the quality of relationship most people have nowadays isn’t even something worth being involved in. Okay, you can say that a higher percentage of us have never been married when compared with other ethnic groups, but the divorce rate is steadily at an increase.  We’ve got cheating husbands, gun toting girlfriends, child murdering boyfriends, stalking ex-spouses……the list goes on and on. The way I see it men and women  need to get it together, and not just black folk.  Love is hard, probably one of the hardest human emotions to deal with. They say there’s a thin line between love and hate and that’s the real. Hard as it is though, it’s simple in the fact that some things are meant to last and some aren’t. No matter what you do, you will never be able to control someone and being in “love” shouldn’t end in bloodshed.  So I conclude that the disparaging statistics they throw out actually indicate that black women are one of the sanest, happiest, safest, and yes single, groups of women in the nation.  Maybe being single isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe the singles ones are smart enough to realize that they can do bad all by themselves.