The Only Answer I Can Give Is No Answer At All
March 4, 2010, 5:14 pm
Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , ,

If you frequent this little thing of mine I don’t like to call a blog, then you may have noticed as of late I have not been writing as much as I used to. I have reached a crossroads in my life that is very hard to articulate. Most of you twenty-somethings out there, and perhaps some of you who are a bit older, should feel me when I say that I have become consumed with searching for myself. I have become obsessed with identifying my passion, clarifying my purpose, and restructuring my goals to achieve those things I desire most. In a world full of endless possibilites and with an imagination full of endless dreams how do you know which ones to catch and which ones to let float away? Is it even possible to catch them all? In my head are many questions, and I’ve been searching tirelessly for answers. I’ve been looking for signs, something, anything to tell me where to enter, where to exit, what to look out for, to speed up or to slow down, to be cautious, to wait, to change directions, or to stay the course, but I’ve seen no such guides along my way. It is during these times when our eyes fail us we are forced to do the hardest and simplest of things, TRUST and BELIEVE……..

you can question my soul


you can question my soul

but it will probably just



cause you don’t know me

and I don’t owe you

and that is all

i have to


you can question my soul


you can question my soul

but it will just move

past and

forge ahead

cause the only


that I hear is

much greater than


and there are

no more words





 question my soul

question my soul

but it will probably just





January 24, 2010, 8:48 pm
Filed under: Life....I wonder... | Tags: , , ,

1. WHO will be next? Your cousin, my brother, the young man from across the street?

2. WHAT exactly does police brutality look like? The media wants to used the pc words “alleged” and “accused”  but this picture is all the proof you need that Jordan Miles was brutally attacked at the hands of the police

3. WHEN will we overthrow the system of oppression and violence protected by the badge? Will we ever?

4.WHERE has the honor and integrity of those who are supposed to “protect and serve” gone, or was their ever any honor and integrity in the occupation in the first place?

5. WHY in the hell do 3 grown men need a stun gun, closed fists, and knees to “subdue” one young man who had no weapons in his posession and has no known history of violence?

6. HOW can the three officers in question even part their lips to actually defend what they did to this young man over a bottle of…….Mountain Dew?


Ignorance + Herd Mentality/Politics=

My boy forwarded this video of the DC Tea Party protest/rally to me about a week ago and I just got around to watching it.  Now there’s not many things that scare me but seeing these people out there passionately protesting when they couldn’t even answer basic questions about what they were protesting against creeped me out and here’s five reasons why.

1. Even when the interviewer broke down the history of the term “Czar” as it relates to American government these  fools  fine upstanding citizens still attempted to assert an argument against Obama having Czars after essentially being logically stomped out.

2. Did you see some of those signs? God bless Glen Beck? Pelosi is a Jezebel? Obama is the AntiChrist? Palin in 2012 !?!

3. Did old boy really just say that abortion was a greater evil than Slavery? Slavery? And did he really bust out with the 12 % of the population argument? Would you like to talk about the disparities involving Blacks and the Death Penalty my brother? Probably not.

4. Take a good look at the demographic composition of the crowd, that’s all I’m going to say about that.

5. The woman that starts crying at the 5:20 mark….um yeah

Lillies for Shaniya

The last few weeks three faces dominated the local news broadcast. The first  was that of 5 year old Shaniya Davis, curly haired and caramel complected, smiling in a white dress and sunday shoes. The second was that of Mario McNeil, the man accused of kidnapping her from Sleepy Hollow Mobile Home Park 5 minutes down the road from where I now live. The third was Antoinette Davis, Shaniyah’s mother. If you’re up on current events, which you should be due to the influx of information present on television and computer screens, you already know what became of the little girl with the bright smile. She was sexually assaulted, asphyxiated, and dumped in a wooded area on the outskirts of town. This is my city. Fayetteville, NC.  I’m not a behavioral scientist or psychologist so I can’t pretend to know what it was that made Ms. Davis give her daughter over with the knowledge she would be held in “sexual servitude” or what drives a grown man to assault and strangle a young girl, but I do know that Shaniyah was a divine light, an angel, and her death was not without purpose. Every time a tragedy like this takes place it’s like the check engine light on a car. There’s something that needs to be fixed, there’s an underlying issue that needs to be addressed. Like that squeak when you press on the breaks. It’s telling you something. Now you can keep riding like you don’t hear it but wait until the day when your breaks lock up, what are going to do then?. I read a quote by  Anne Graham Lotz , daughter of Evangelist Billy Graham, dealing with the end of days and the signs before hand as Jesus explained them in the Bible. When I read it, it struck a chord with me and certain events I see on the news remind me of it often…..

“Like a woman in childbirth whose labor pains increase in frequency and intensity before the baby is delivered the world will experience natural disasters, wars, epidemics,  religious delusion and deception, persecution of Christians, an increase in moral wickedness and many other signs.”

Now while I can’t say that I completely believe in the ‘second coming’ or apocalypse from a religious perspective,  I definitely feel Ms. Lotz on this one, these are the words of Jesus, uttered thousands of years ago and one can’t help but recognize the truth in them. Take shooting rampages for example, the first one to really devastate on a national level was Columbine, now it’s been Virginia Tech, the Holocaust Museum, LA Fitness,  Ft Hood…..frequency and intensity. The youngest of us are being slaughtered and brutalized. Every time you turn on the news it’s another sweet face and another shocking story to tell.  It’s just sad, on so many levels. I want to have children one day, but I often wonder exactly wat type of world would I be bringing a child into?  Is what we’re confronted with now just the nature of human beings or have we allowed our nature to become corrupted? How much have we allowed our humanity and overall respect for life to be eroded with the sands of time?  The saddest thing to me is, this isn’t the first post I’ve dedicated to  a child thrust into the national spotlight for all the wrong reasons and I know it won’t be the last. I just wonder how many more innocent lives will be lost stolen before we as a society deal with the crap we have swept under our rug?  Shaniya was laid to rest today at 3pm and from what I heard the community came out in droves to pay their respects. She was a divine light, an angel, who in her passing became a beacon regarded by many near and far.  May she eternally and blissfully rest in peace.

Junebug Obama hits it on the head……

The Politics of Violence: Do you see what I see?

To whoever says it’s physically impossible for a female to be in a “fair” fight with a male………..

Everyone has an opinion about the situation involving Rihanna and Chris Brown. This singular incident has sparked, once agian, heavy debate about the larger issue of domestic violence. I am a student of philosophy, therefore I appreciate the art of debate. From a purely philosophical perspective, debate is grounded in logic, with both parties making valid points that can either be affirmed or denied in the realm of reason. When it comes to the subject of violence between men and women however, logic falls to the wayside. It’s an itense topic and people often get emotional. One lady on the popular gossip blog Bossip took issue with a comment that I made. In my comment I said, “No one is ever beaten without provocation, except if the attacker is just psychologically unstable…..” She said “There are women and men beat every day without provocation”, and goes on to say she finds it ‘mindblowing’ that anyone would suggest Rihanna provoked Chris Brown’s actions . Okay. Perhaps in my haste, I had to be at work in 45 min, I did not word my thoughts properly. Basically what I meant to imply was that no act of violence is without a catalyst. People keep bringing blame and fault-finding in the mix.  The nature of the catalyst for that violence is not the issue, I’m just merely stating the catalyst exists.Keeping it strictly scientific, every action has an equal an opposite reaction. Whether it be something as indirect such as a look or a gesture, or something more direct such as a comment of taunt, there is almost always something that acts a tigger for violent outbursts and acts of aggression, unless you are dealing with an attacker who is mentally disturbed and out of touch with reality. Even then, in thier minds, SOMETHING has triggered them. We live in a violent society…….that’s just what it is. The thing that annoys me about people when it comes to the subject of violence, this includes domestic violence, is they often speak in terms of how it “should” be, what we “shouldn’t” do. There’s a lot of things that we as human beings feel we “should” not do to one another based on individual concepts of morality and justice, but the fact is people beat each other to a bloody mess, or worse, every day. It doesn’t matter if you are male, female, elderly or a child, today nobody is sacred. We are all targets for extreme violence. Young men are beaten to death right outside the front steps of their schools, young girls are gang raped and beaten in dark alleys as spectators take pictures on their camera phones , elderly men are pounded in shopping center parking lots for offensive driving maneuvers, and 4 year olds are drowned and stuffed in dryers to keep them from telling someone about the molestation they endured at the hands of another child. We can sit and talk about who shouldn’t hit who all day long, but that still doesn’t address the larger issues pertaining to why our society is jacked up in ways that most don’t or refuse to accept .


william-joseph-colvindomesticviolenceWhy does a a person stay with someone who has repeatedly been violent towards them? Why does a person stay with a someone who is so temperamental, so argumentative that they are moved to act with extreme aggression towards them? Why does ‘love’ seem to hurt more than it heals?  Why is everyone acting like this is something new? These are the things I think about when faced with the media’s obsession with the events that transpired between Robin Fenty and Chris Brown the night of February 8, 2009. I have always believed that whatever happened in that car, they were both as much to blame as they were both victims. The best of friends for 6 years and lovers for 2, the public will never be able to understand what got them to the place of bruised faces and probation. I would love to see 20/20 go in depth with Brown, but we all know that will never happen. The media is definitely biased and the public has been conditioned to empathize with the female in these types of situations.

It is naive and archaic to think that a man won’t hit a woman. I say this knowing full well that most will persecute me for saying so, but I don’t feel sympathy for women who hit men and then get hit back. I am in no way speculating that Fenty struck Brown first, as many have, but I am merely making the point that in this day and age the same old rules do not apply. When it comes to male on female violence younger generations regard it much more differently than their elders. There are several females I know, myself included, who are not afraid to fight a man. They take no issue in breaking somebody off with a jab, jab, upper cut, left hook combo no matter whether they be of the same or opposite sex.  In a survey taken during March of this year by the Boston Public Health commission 44% of the 200 12-19 year old youths surveyed said fighting(as opposed to arguing) was a NORMAL part of a relationship. Interestingly enough, the older gentlemen who wrote the post critiscizing the results of the poll could not wrap his head around why the youth thought this way. We live in a hyper sexual, hyper violent society in which the ages of victims as well as perpitrators of rape, assault, and murder just gets lower and lower. We see examples everyday on our television screens of what mishandled emotions cause people to do to one another. Among the youth, it is often said, emotions run wild.

For many of us domestic violence is just a fact of life. Many a young woman I know, myself included,  knows first hand what happens when a woman cowers at the site of a raised hand or balled fist, and many aren’t going out like that. Many young men I know have grown up with a woman internally scarred from domestic abuse attempting to TEACH them how to be a man. The only thing I found shocking when the story broke was how shocked the nation seemed to be. This type of thing literally happens every day, every 9 seconds to be exact. It is time to start exploring the WHY with as much passion and vigor as we discuss the WHAT. Despite the popular rationalization “It is never okay for a man to put his hands on a woman ever” flying out of the mouths of Oprah and your next door neighbor alike, WHY does a physical assault on a woman at the hands of an intimate partner take place every 9 seconds in this country, WHY will 25% of women be physically assaulted by an intimate partner in her lifetime, WHY are 1.3 million women an 835,000 men physically assaulted by an intimate partner each year? It’s naive and sexist to think the abuse of a female is somehow more important or severe than the abuse of a man.

There is something that I found very striking as I watched Rihanna’s interview on 20/20 this evening. She made a statement almost identical to a statement Brown made in his interview with Larry King. Both said that as children they were afraid to go to sleep at night for fear of what would happen to thier mothers at the hands of the men in their lives. It is a profound link, the shared experience of being children reared amidst the turmoil of domestic violence, that tells more about what happened as they drove home that night than any interview they will ever give. Watching her, I saw a young woman still trying to make sense of the situation. I saw a young woman dealing with the enourmous weight of super stardom who felt the pressure to satisfy the public and set the record ‘straight’ in order to keep her image intact and her empire from crumbling around her. I don’t believe we got the full scope of what happened between them, and I don’t think we ever will. 

 Domestic violence, especially today, is not as one sided as most would like to believe. It is a complex situation having many layers, that most of us just don’t have the time or patience to peel away. I think that it was a bad move on the part of the media to get any further involved in this situation than they already have.  It seemed as if 20/20 was looking at this 21 year old  to shed light on a situation that has plagued society for decades, centuries. As much as she may want to fill  that role Rihanna can’t and won’t be the Golden Child for the decline of domestic violence. She did not say anything we have not heard before ; if it happened to me it can happen to anyone, F love, and love is blind.  Eve told us love was blind back in 99′. Halle let us know in 2004 if it can happen to one of the most beautiful, successful and powerful women on the planet it could happen to us. Tina said F love when she released the timeless jam ‘What’s Love Got To Do With It’. I’m not trying to take anything away from what Rihanna has experienced and the good she is trying to make of it, but when it comes to domestic violence, as a society we have been so obsessed with the WHO and the WHAT. Can we get down to the WHY?

November 5, 2009, 12:15 pm
Filed under: Life....I wonder... | Tags: , , ,

Watch this, then answer the question

Do wealthy white men travel to impovrished and war torn areas to solicit sex from children and young teens because

a. It is a product of the historically documented european obsession with the percieved sexual prowess of the natives of ‘exotic’ nations that is so superior to thier own they are willing to pay for the experience thus perpetuating a sexual inferiority complex?

b. They take pleasure and find power in the fact that they are able to ‘purchase’ someone who is both younger and of lower economic status than themselves thus perpetuating a economic superiority complex?

c. It has been happening for centuries and is rationalized by the biological male urge to mate with a nubile partner

d. Both a & b

e. all of the above